Author: Michael Lucas

Writer. Sysadmin. Owns this site.
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Selling Direct and Customer Support

I have my ebookshop at tiltedwindmillpress.com, and it’s a great defense against online retailers deciding that they don’t want my business. But sometimes it comes back to bite me.

I don’t want your personal information, unless things go wrong. But when it goes wrong, I have no way to contact you.

I got an email today from antonio@z*****.com, saying they hadn’t gotten the BookFunnel email for their purchase. They had received the receipt from me. It happens. I replied, and my maillog spat out:

Mar 1 12:00:54 mail sm-mta[17756]: 321H0qc5053731: to=, ctladdr= (1001/1001), delay=00:00:02, xdelay=00:00:02, mailer=esmtp, pri=31211, relay=mx1.privateemail.com. [198.54.122.240], dsn=5.7.1, reply=554 5.7.1 : Relay access denied, stat=Service unavailable

In between them getting the receipts and BookFunnel sending the email, their mail server broke.

I have no other information by which to reach this reader. They did provide an address, which is nice. I could send a postcard. To another country. Assuming that address is even correct, which is dubious given the privacy habits of y’all. (Yes, I collect addresses, this is why.)

So, what do I do here?

Nothing.

Presumably, the customer will notice that they aren’t getting any email and reach out again.

Although I do see that the customer has four MXs, and they’re all the same priority. It might be one of them is misconfigured. I’ll send another message, see what happens. Or, maybe the customer will see this blog or my fedi post and see that they have email trouble.

If I demanded phone numbers for ebook purchase I could text them, but that would require I collect phone numbers and I want to not have that information.

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BSDCan 2023 Tutorial: OpenBSD Storage Management

I’ll be teaching a four-hour tutorial on OpenBSD storage management at BSDCan 2023. As you might imagine, it’s based on OpenBSD Mastery: Filesystems.

I am pleased to see BSDCan returning to meatspace. Yes, the pandemic is ongoing, and I don’t blame folks who decide not to attend. The main reason I chose to attend is that the concom (which I’m a member of) has chosen to enforce a stringent mask policy. Yes, I know you have the right to not wear a mask in public. BSDCan is a private event for a community, however, and communities have a responsibility to protect their weakest members. (People who think that your rights outweigh your responsibilities, I will delete your comments.)

I hope to see many of you at the con, if not my tutorial. It will be good to see many old friends. Well, at least their eyes. Faces in one of the many fine outdoor dining establishments Byward Market offers.

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Jan/Feb 2023 Column Out in the FreeBSD Journal

Somehow, I’ve written 28 “We Get Letters” columns for the FreeBSD Journal. The latest is out. I’m amazed that they haven’t given me the boot yet, especially as I’m attempting to channel Michael Bywater’s brilliant “Bargepole” column from the unforgivably murdered weekly “Punch.” At best I’ve achieved a tenth of Bargepole’s vitriolic geezerliciousness, but seeing as Bargepole contained enough vitriol to kill a beluga whale I expected them to ban me years ago.

You can get all the columns for free by trawling through the old issues, but you could also grab the collection and save yourself three years of trouble.

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New Short Story: “The Rats’ Man’s Lackey and the Half Gallon of Christmas Miracle”

Me in 2014: “Okay, you’ve published post-apocalyptic sci-fi novels. Stay in that genre, don’t dilute your brand.”

Me in 2015: “Okay, you’ve published post-apocalyptic sci-fi novels and bright future sci-fi. That’s not bad.”

Me in 2016: “Okay, you’ve published post-apocalyptic sci-fi novels, bright future sci-fi, and crime thrillers. They’re all exciting stuff, but focus on the types of things you’ve published. You aren’t Iain M Banks, even if a W looks like an upside-down M.”

Me in 2017: “You do know that cozy mystery bears no resemblance to any of these other genres, right? How are people supposed to know which of your books they should try? You’re gonna add a freaking flowchart to your web site? Oh, that’ll be helpful. #facepalm”

Me in 2018: “Whew. Okay. You’ve stayed in your genres. Settle down there.”

Me in 2022: “Historical fantasy? With orcs? STOP IT.”

Me in 2023: “Urban fantasy? Dude, are you drunk? No? Maybe you should be. It might help.”

Anyway, I have a new short story out. Ebook is at most retailers, including my ebookstore, and a print chapbook should be available soonish.

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Comparing Kickstarters

Comparing how two different books sell is foolish. Books are not fungible. Comparing how two different marketing campaigns do is likewise foolish. Neither marketing, nor readers, nor economic conditions are interchangeable.

But bear with me for a moment while I do it anyway.

The Kickstarter campaign for the Prohibition Orcs duology brought in about $11,000. Which, while not Brandon Sanderson’s millions, was way cool.

I intended to use the Devotion and Corrosion campaign to compare “Kickstarter with Twitter” to “Kickstarter without Twitter.” That seemed sensible, right? The videos are comparable, the campaigns are comparable. The story for the orcs is stronger, because “Orcs in Prohibition” is a solid hook, but still, it’d do something, right?

But then Kickstarter did not give D&C the “Projects We Love” button, which meant that they won’t promote it for me. My attempted comparison fails. I suspect this is because D&C has less Big Idea and more gentle philosophical ambiance. We don’t like to think, we want orcish face-punching.

The campaign funded anyway, which is great. But I can’t do even my lame, heavily-caveated comparison. Facebook spreads my posts to a few of people I know and a couple of the folks who follow my fan page. While the Fediverse shares my posts more broadly, it’s definitely a less commercial space.

I had hoped D&C would hit $4,000. My marketing has saturated the people I know, however, and now I’m hoping it breaks $3000.

Disappointing? Not really. Thinking about it in pure financial terms is wrong.

D&C is doing “well enough.” A bunch of people, wonderful people, will get ebooks and paperbacks. A handful of folks (those with disposable income as well as exquisite taste) will get fancy leather-cased books covered in rats and brains and knives. I will cover expenses and most of a mortgage payment.

And I can be confident that my readers who follow me on the fediverse or my mailing lists or my blog or even on Facebook will at least consider at my next project, no matter what any CEO or billionaire has to say about it. Eventually, a fiction book from this no-name nobody will pretty reliably cover a mortgage payment.

I have what Twitter’s owner can never have.

Enough.

But if you want that fancy leather-cased book, you better grab one quick. Once the campaign is fulfilled, I’m not getting Studio 42 to make any more. In fact, let me post that picture, because it really is spectacular.

Comparing one book to another, or one Kickstarter to another, is foolish, but I can guarantee that you won’t find that many rats on any other leather-cased book.

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“Devotion and Corrosion” Kickstarter now live

The Kickstarter for my new collection, Devotion and Corrosion, is live. It funded in twenty minutes and broke the first stretch goal in two hours, which means I get to use ZZ Claybourne’s fantastic foreword.

When I write something, I have no idea if it works as I intended until it bounces off another person. ZZ’s foreword says that not only does the book work, it works as I hoped it would.

If you want signed copies of this book, this is how you get them.

If you’re looking deals on other books, the Fantasy Steampunk bundle is still kicking. Ten books for as little as $20, and a slice goes to AbleGamers.

Ideally I’d be spending today working on the email book, but instead I’m heading out for an apicoectomy. Because as you age, your medical procedures grow harder to spell.

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Triple Threat February: Cheap Orcs, Reading, and Kicking

If you’re looking for a deal on my first Prohibition Orcs book, check out the Fantasy Steampunk bundle. You can get ten excellent books for as little as $20, and help out AbleGamers while you’re at it.

I regularly read all of the authors, and they reliably put out top-tier words. I’ve even read several of these books, and they were fantastic. I read Collins’ bundle-exclusive Clockwork Princess before it was published, and immediately demanded the sequel. You will too.

This bundle particularly excites me. Readers come slowly. Eventually some editor might say “Hey, I’m putting a bundle of books together on this theme, do you have anything?” That’s great–someone knows you exist! Someone important! Deal with that well, be professional, do your share of the promotion, and you’ll get asked again. And again.

But this time, I wasn’t asked if I had anything that would suit the bundle.

No, this time Kris Rusch seized the front of my shirt and said Orcs. I want orcs, dammit. Tell me you haven’t already bundled your orcs. It was over email, but Kris can grab you over email. I think this counts as “leveling up.”

On top of that, I have a free public reading this next Sunday. With Sufficient Rat. And another nine excellent authors.

Six days from now, the Devotion and Corrosion Kickstarter launches. I just got a print proof of the paperback and it’s magnificent.

I just finished fulfillment on the Prohibition Orcs Kickstarter, OpenBSD Mastery: Filesystems sponsorships and pre-orders. I guess this is what success looks like?

Anyway, there’s a lot of Lucas this month. Plus, I’m pushing on the last novel of the git commit murder trilogy and the mail server book. (When will that go up for sponsorships? When I have enough text and structure that I’m absolutely certain it will happen.)

Anyway, the bundle is a heck of a deal. Grab it. Come listen to me read. Click to be notified of the Kickstarter. I’m off to write the next books.

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Online Public Reading, 9 Big-Name Writers and Me

Sunday, February 5, 7pm-8:30pm EST, I’ll be one of ten authors doing a live online reading. Roaring Back at the Lion of Winter is free, but you need to register beforehand. Why require registration if it’s free? It helps keep the trolls out. The Door Goon will be checking names off the attendee list before admitting folks, just like any other exclusive gathering of cultural elites.

Why is it exclusive? Well, here’s the other authors.

Zig Zag Claybourne, Linda Addison, Charlie Jane Anders, Martha Wells, Patty Templeton, LaShawn Wanak, Maria Dong, Carlos Hernandez, and C. S. E. Cooney! Award winners, best-sellers, cultural icons, and me.

I mean, look at this list. These people wrote freaking Murderbot. Sal & Gabi Break the Universe. All The Birds in the Sky. Saint Death’s Daughter. There Is No Lovely End. How to Recognize a Demon has Become Your Friend. And more, and more. Plus, freaking Murderbot.

My reading will contain Sufficient Rat.

And I’m delighted beyond reason to be on this list.

Between this, the Devotion and Corrosion Kickstarter, and a third event I can’t talk about, February looks like it’s gonna be stuffed with self-promotion. At least it’s the shortest month!

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Shipping OMF

I spent today dealing with the “OpenBSD Mastery: Filesystems” sponsor, Patronizer, and pre-order shipments.

The first lesson I’ve learned is, I was too flexible for someone so easily perplexed. If I do pre-orders again folks will get the option to buy just the one book, in paperback or hardcover. That’s it. Checking and double-checking all the possible option takes up a lot of brain space.

More annoyingly, I’ve had to delay a full third of my non-US #omfilesystems preorders, and a few of the US ones, because folks didn’t include a recipient phone number in their order info.

Data is like medical radioactives in the oncology ward; necessary, but I want as little of it as possible and must dispose of it safely. I have no desire for phone numbers.

For some destinations, however, I must provide the carrier a recipient phone number before they’ll sell me postage. I have no way to tell if I’ll need a phone number until I try to buy postage.

I don’t want to demand phone numbers for everyone. I actively want to not require that information.

But I’ve spent hours today chasing folks for phone numbers, interrupting my flow of packaging because someone kindly got back to me ASAP and I really do want to get these out of my house and in your paws.

I fear I’ll need to make the hard choice next time I open sponsorships. Ah, well.

But I have all the sponsor, Patronizer, and multi-book pre-orders packed and either picked up or ready for pickup. What remains is single-book shipments, plus all the folks who owe me phone numbers. I’m calling it for the day.

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“OpenBSD Mastery: Filesystems” hardcovers are here

By “here,” I mean “in my living room.

64 of them. A nice even number!

I’ll be packing Patronizer and sponsor books first, then complicated preorders, then single-copy preorders. I don’t know if I’ll have them all done today. I might. Paperbacks arrive tomorrow, so I hope so.

You know, maybe one of these days I can do some writing? Sigh…