I get accused of making jokes in my tech books. I don’t. I tell the truth. The truth is so ridiculous that the only sane reaction is to laugh. Honesty and integrity are everything, in both my fiction and nonfiction. (Yes, even in Laserblasted.)
Ever since PAM Mastery invoked Terry Pratchett’s Unseen University, I’ve started using pop culture references in my books. Usually I pick a single apropos motif for the book, such as Run Your Own Mail Server using Star Wars as a touchstone for fighting the Email Empire. I do this to make the text more readable and to hook the reader’s brain.
DNSSEC Mastery was written during the initial shock of Covid, so I used The Princess Bride as a motif. If you haven’t seen TPB, you really must. It’s one of those rarest of creatures, a perfect film. And endlessly quotable.
Recently, this discarded tidbit was brought to my attention. I created it when SNG reminded me that this book hadn’t yet insulted Oracle.
Vizzini, as an Oracle sales rep: “You’ve heard of Postgres? DB/2? SQL Server 2020?”
Man In Black: “Yes.”
Vizzini: “Morons.”
Man In Black: “In that case I challenge you to a battle of integrity.”
Vizzini: “For the database?”
Man In Black: “Yes.”
Vizzini: “To the death?!”
Man In Black:
Vizzini: “I accept!”
Man In Black: “Read this, but do not click «agree».”
Vizzini: “I comprehend nothing.”
Man In Black: “What you do not comprehend is called a EULA. It is odorless, tasteless, devolves instantly into legalese, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man… All right: where is the liability? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both click «agree», and find out who is right and who is sued.”
It amused the folks who saw it. But it’s not relevant to the book. So it got cut out. Because I don’t tell jokes.
For the record, insulting Oracle is not a joke. It is a sacred mission.