51: Soviet Texas

I’m working on a new Aidan Redding story, but can’t share any of it yet. Contract terms, y’know. I can say it’s a Class D universe tale, however, which I haven’t done before. I needed to skim some of Aidan’s earlier adventures, so here’s a snippet from Drinking Heavy Water.

The engulfing darkness made every sound more obvious. Chevy’s breath wasn’t loud, but I could tell it was deep and thorough. “Your President wants to stop selling tritium to Texas. We need that energy. If I can stop this, I must.”

I said, “Even if Soviet Texas did okay without it, Kendall has thirty other countries on this list. Someone’s going to react badly.”

Gunfire said, “I’m sure Nirvana is on it.”

“Them. Seattle Sacred. Fearless.” Any nation on Kendall’s list might respond with nukes, or bioweapons, or nanotech. Everybody knew how to build doomsday weapons. Maybe they’d strike Montague facilities across the world, or long-loathed neighbors. Civilization only endures if everyone has equal access to it. We all fly together, or a handful soar until they crash.

You can get Drinking Heavy Water as a standalone novel, or as part of the three-novel omnibus Aidan Redding Against the Universes.

New FreeBSD Journal issue out, with my Letters column

The “We Get Letters” column of the FreeBSD Journal is my opportunity to subtweet the Sysadmin Discourse of the Day. There’s far more than one Discourse between issues but let’s be real, most of the discourse isn’t worthy of discussion.

Anyway, I talk configuration management in the newest issue. My column appears first in the magazine, which I’m certain means something. Probably that the editor has been kidnapped and he’s asking his friends to rescue him, but that specifically excludes me so it’s not my problem.

If you like the column, you might grab the Letters to Ed(1) collection, containing the first three years of these columns. It will go out of print soon, because I’ll be publishing the Dear Abyss collection of years 1-6. But hey! Letters to Ed(1) will become a collectors item!

The new Fantasy Steampunk Storybundle, with orcs!

There’s a brand new Fantasy Steampunk bundle, available only for another 11 days. It’s not only a really good deal, but it features the Prohibition Orcs novel Frozen Talons in the lowest tier!

This bundle is full of great stuff. Gleason, Pope, and Carriger and titans of steampunk. I read Kilgore and Sawyer quite regularly. Rusch’s magnificent Fey series is early steampunk. The other authors and editors, well, given by the company they’re in, I have high expectations for them all.

I’m gonna be egotistical and share a brand-new reader review on Frozen Talons:

If Tolkien’s elves went West to America, then eventually, the orcs would follow.

Michael takes that silly idea and weaves a sometimes funny, sometimes touching tale of how those poor orcs could survive in Detroit of the 1920s.

Being big and strong, they get manual labor jobs. Dirty work that nobody else wants to do.

And, given half a chance, they become what the Purple Gang only dreamed about- the best rum-runners in the mid-west.

The plots get complex. Unlike most fantasy stories, these orcs have real motivations, consistent behavior, and rich lives as they adapt to a world they never imagined.

And the orcs are likeable characters. Maybe not your first choice for a dinner companion, but characters you fall in love with and want to see succeed.

And they do succeed, but not the way you expect.

A couple folks have told me that Prohibition Orcs is not steampunk, but dieselpunk. They’re too early for dieselpunk. They’re too late for steampunk. There won’t be a ProhibitionPunk, however, because anyone who understands punk knows that Prohibition was arguably the most punk era of American history. The system failed people, so they did it themselves. There’s literal steam in the orc books, what with boilers and repurposed steam locomotives powering factories, along with giant mechanical systems and the general cleverness of steampunk, so I’m going to say they belong in steampunk as much as they belong anywhere. Perhaps with a bit more emphasis on the punk than the steam, however.

So grab the Storybundle while you can. A chunk of your purchase goes to help Girls On The Run.

50: My Childish Behavior

I’m fighting with the Kickstarter web interface to fulfill the Run Your Own Mail Server campaign and trying to get Dear Abyss ready for launch, so here’s a chunk of an advice column.

All three regular readers of this column appear to be drawn by the pleasure of watching my childish behavior when confronted with the tedious duty of writing said column. While “you insulted me in the first three words of your greeting” is a feeble justification for breaking into your systems and converting them to global-warming-accelerating SkunkCoin miners, I’m willing to make it work.

Because that’s what’s sysadmins do. We make things work.

Even bad things.

Software vendors insist on developing new bad things and cramming them down gullets already obscenely bloated with horrendous badness. Systems administrators stagger through the endless hours of their brief years struggling to live beneath tremendous loads of badness smelted from software like arsenic from arsenopyrite. The inherent insecurity of absolutely everything enhances this burden like a beached, deceased whale enhances an oil spill.

The urge to retreat into malaise is a natural human reaction.

Sysadmins lack the luxury of being human.

The prelaunch page for the next Letters collection, Dear Abyss, is up at Kickstarter.

49: Witnessed from Gleaming Eye Sockets

I’m mostly resting this week because I’m taking vacation after BSDCan and the Kickstarter of WTF. Not sure which was more exhausting. The new Steampunk Fantasy Storybundle just launched, though, and it includes my Prohibition Orcs novel Frozen Talons, so here’s a sweet little old lady forging a weapon out of her dead husband’s bones.

The grooms’ quarters was too cramped for bone-melding, but Mha made it work. Bone-melding should be done beneath the open sky. It should be done at a roaring fire built up from entire trees torn from the soil and the bones of slain enemies, witnessed by the clan. She had a tiny stove heated until it gleamed in her night-sight even through the sunlight drifting through the high narrow windows.

And all the orcs she knew witnessed from gleaming eye sockets.

She had feared she had forgotten the rites, but her ragged voice recalled the words and her age-bent hands remembered the motions, the gestures, the twist of bone against bone until they caught one another and bound harder than iron. The comforting smells of scorched bone and burned blood and viscous sweat filled the air.

That orc’s thighbones were not long enough, so she added the shin bones. The smaller calf bones went on the side, to give the shaft a sharper shape so her feeble hands wouldn’t slip. Not that a properly bone-melded shaft could slip in its maker’s grip. The kneecaps, worn to smoothness by decades of joyful life, nestled together perfectly on the bottom as a base.

The Storybundle’s a heck of a deal, and gets you great books by a whole bunch of good authors. And my book.

“Run Your Own Mail Server” print/ebook bundle available

You can now preorder “Run Your Own Mail Server” at tiltedwindmillpress.com.

The last time I did a print sale (for OpenBSD Mastery: Filesystems), I offered options. From that sale, I learned that I am easily confused and should not offer options. This time I’m keeping things simple.

You can order a paperback or a hardback. It’s slightly more expensive than retail, because managing shipping is actual work that takes me away from writing.

When the books are ready to print, I will close this sale and order the sponsor, Kickstarter, and direct order copies in one gigantic heap. I will send out the ebooks a day or two after that.

Books will be shipped to me. I will open the boxes and sign them one after the other. I will print shipping labels, stuff books into envelopes, and request the post office schedule the Pickup Of Doom.

That’s it. Nothing fancy. No extra books, sorry.

This is the only way you can now get a signed book without finding me in meatspace. I am looking at ways to integrate drop-shipping print books into my web store, but none of them are quite satisfactory yet. Several printers are close–but not quite there. Either they have great Woocommerce integration but only ship from one location, or they dropship globally but have terrible integration. It’s very frustrating.

I should probably also mention that, while Kindle-friendly versions will be available from several retailers, Run Your Own Mail Server will not be on Amazon’s Kindle store, for the same reasons OpenBSD Mastery: Filesystems is not. This is a larger Mastery title and ebooks will retail for $15.

48: Three Pounds of Skull Pudding

My next book will be Dear Abyss: The FreeBSD Journal Letters Column, Years 1-6. Seeing as each column was written in a one hour burst of bile, I’m going through them and polishing off the missed opportunities for rage.

The annoying thing about asymptomatic system failures is that they’re asymptomatic—but no less real than the kind with noticeable symptoms. Some user makes a call, an actual voice call where they’re spewing random words in some language from their food-hole and you’re expected to parse that babble with your ears, when even Hollywood knows that sysadmins are artisanally optimized to receive information via their eyes and extrude alloyed sarcasm and results from their keyboard-callused fingertips. Any one of these users can at any time disrupt the meticulously assembled hallucination of whatever problem you’re working on and demand that you turn your three pounds of skull-pudding to the fact that their web browser jittered, actually jittered, when they played a cat video off the fileserver or they got a “File not found” error when they know darn well that they saved their proposal under that name just last night on their son’s computer.

Kickstarter has the prelaunch page up. I’m afraid that the ridiculous success of the mail book there has trained me to launch absolutely everything through Kickstarter. Even the stupid things. I expect this to do much less well but hey, those nickels spend.

“Run Your Own Mail Server” Kickstarter finished

All I can say is “what?”1966 backers. $76,833.
I have never received that much for a single title in a single lump. The Absolute books might each $40,000 over their publishing lifetime, spread over years, occasionally boosted by Humble Bundles and the like. This is stunning.
My gratitude to everyone.
Some comments, in no particular order. I could put them in order, if my brain wasn’t fried from screaming NUMBER GO UP! NUMBER GO UP! all weekend.

  • 31% of pledges were referred by Kickstarter. I suspect that’s from the “Project We Love” algorithm.
  • The dashboard gives referrers for incoming links. 55% of incoming traffic was “Direct traffic or no referrer information. The big social media sites like Facebook and Hacker News show up as referrers. So, what’s that 55%? It’s some sort of web site. I suspect it’s the Fediverse, aka “Mastodon and friends.”
  • What the heck? What the absolute heck??? How did any book I write bring in this kind of money?

The catch with Kickstarter is, of course, that I don’t get to keep the money. Half of it goes to fulfillment. Half of what remains gets held back for taxes. What remains is a nice chunk of cash, but I need a new car and some roof work. (I’m 57 years old and the roof is a 45-degree slope, I no longer climb up there.)

This has convinced me to run every single dang book through Kickstarter, though. Because lightning does strike twice.

If you missed the Kickstarter and want to preorder a print/ebook combo, I’ll have that up on tiltedwindmillpress.com in a few days.