“Someone in our household is practicing Christmas, and we will all be dead by midnight.”
Discover demons are real and, if you survive long enough, you might find supernatural Witness Protection. Stay alive by abandoning your life and your name and following Whackadoo Manor’s rules: no Vienna sausage, no Internet, no Bruce Willis movies or Swedish Modern furniture, and—no matter what—no holidays.
Even the strangest rules have reasons.
Reasons writ in blood.
Sometimes on gingerbread.
(I read a tidbit of this for 60 Minutes of WIP episode 13: The Only Right We Have.)
If someone had told me decades ago that there was a big market for “weird-ass Christmas tales,” my career would be entirely different.