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64: File Corrupting Butterfly

Dear Abyss is ready to launch, so I’m making new words. It’s another column.

If you insist on proceeding, though, if you demand you be allowed to weave yourself a chrysalis and transform into a kernel developer like a panic-prone memory-dumping file-corrupting butterfly, immediately separate your dreams from your goals. A goal is something actionable that is completely within your control to achieve. Accomplishing a dream requires other people intervene on your behalf. Going out for a dinner date with that attractive person? Totally a dream. Asking that attractive person out for a dinner date, and when they remind you that you are inherently unloveable leaving them the heck alone instead of stalking them like the creepy hero of a so-called “romance?” An absolutely achievable goal!

You cannot control other people. Work on goals. Never on dreams.

I babble a whole bunch about dreams versus goals in Domesticate Your Badgers. And seriously, if they turn you down leave them the hell alone.

63: Skip Off The Heliosphere

Life has been a bit chaotic this last couple weeks, and fulfilling the last 5% of the Run Your Own Mail Server Kickstarter has soaked up my time. I’m just getting to finishing the copyedits on Dear Abyss so I can launch the bloody Kickstarter. Here’s a snippet from the Introduction.

Here’s the other problem with an advice column. It needs glue.

Saying “I’ll write about FreeBSD stuff” isn’t enough. People don’t beseech Dear Abby for solutions. They want her soothing voice. Her calmness. Her gentle declarations that “yes, you have a problem” or “have you considered complying with conservative societal norms?” If they wanted detailed, thoughtful discussion of their petty problems they’d write Captain Awkward or Dear Prudence. Each columnist has their own voice, their own attitudes, beliefs and mission. Columnists have goals. And seriously, a Unix letters column? No system administration advice I could offer would survive thirty seconds exposure to the sandblaster of reality.

If you look at the first few columns, you’ll see I gave it my best shot. My model was in an unstable solar orbit, however, and starting to skip off the heliosphere.

This story has an unhappy ending. I figured out how to keep writing it.

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New short story in Pulphouse? I read the opening

My short story “The Rats’ Man’s Lackey and the Bringer of Leaves” is in issue #33 of Pulphouse Magazine. I’m sharing the issue with folks like Kevin J. Anderson and Nina Kiriki Hoffman.

I’ve missed a couple episodes of “60 Seconds of WIP” because of the Kickstarter fulfillment, which is only a problem as I’ve fallen behind on my reading practice. So I recorded the opening of my story.

To save the sanity of us all, I learned how to capture a single frame of a video and make Youtube use it as a thumbnail. Otherwise, merely clicking on the link would show you my stupid face.

Grab Pulphouse #33 at your favorite bookstore.

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“Networking for Systems Administrators, 2nd ed” open for sponsorship

TLDR: “Networking for Systems Administrators, 2nd Edition” is open for sponsorships at https://www.tiltedwindmillpress.com/product/n4sa2e-sponsor/ and I would appreciate your support.

Longer version:

Every large company I’d ever worked in since 1995 suffered from a continuous feud between the sysadmins and the network team. One team would demand an inch, the other would insist on 25.4 millimeters, and battle was declared. As someone with an ankle shackled in each world, I quickly reached two conclusions.

One, the job is hard enough without us arguing past each other.

Two, everybody involved needed a short sharp visit from the Slap Fairy.

About ten years ago I achieved my lifelong goal of becoming a full-time writer, and promptly lost my mind. I could keep being a writer so long as I kept bringing in money. If I didn’t bring in money, I’d get stuffed back in a cubicle. I had to write books, and quickly. I had made a list of titles I could spew fast. One of them was “Networking for Systems Administrators,” meant to end that feud or at least bring about a ceasefire.

Because my other goal was “pay the mortgage before I get stuffed back into a cubicle,” I slammed out that manuscript in about a month.

To my surprise, it was well-received. Managers bought the book in bulk to distribute to their staff. Network administrators bought it to give to select colleagues. Sysadmins bought so they could successfully argue with their network administrators.

It’s been ten years, and that book needs updating. Some of the commands have been changed. 100Mb Ethernet is rare, while 10G and 100G are almost common. There’s all those tidbits I could have done better, if I hadn’t been driving myself too hard. Let’s Encrypt made TLS omnipresent, so I need to add that. And of course it must have a proper Eddie Sharam cover.

If I get ~100 print sponsors I’ll do another challenge coin, like the one I did for Run Your Own Mail Server (https://mwl.io/archives/23836).

So, yeah. https://www.tiltedwindmillpress.com/product/n4sa2e-sponsor/ is my effort to bring a tiny peace to IT departments around the world. I would be grateful for your sponsorship, and your support with the mortgage part.

Thank you for your consideration.

PS: I should also mention that my collected FreeBSD Journal advice columns, Dear Abyss, is going to kickstarter soon. “Dear Abby for Sysadmins” isn’t going to sponsorship, but if you’re interested you might check it out. (https://mwl.io/ks)

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Patronizers, Sponsors, and Kickstarter Backers

People can support my work by buying my books, through whatever channels they prefer. I also have my Patronizer program, offer sponsorships of individual titles, and take early orders via Kickstarter. Folks ask me what the differences are between these three things.

Patronizers send me money every month, either through Patreon or my store. They get everything that sponsors and Kickstarter backers get. If you receive my books in print, and I send sponsors a physical gift, you get that gift. Patronizers who receive digital rewards get any digital rewards that sponsors and Kickstarter backers get. Patronizers are thanked by name in the Acknowledgements in the front of everything. Any print books are signed with a personal thank-you note.

Sponsors back a particular book. I offer sponsorships only for tech books. If you don’t want to back every daft thing I do, or fear I will soil your name by thanking you for atrocities, or you have enough fiscal responsibility to not send me money monthly for no good reason, sponsorships are for you. When the book comes out, sponsors receive a gift. The gift might or might not be the book. It might be related to the book. It might amuse only me. Sponsors are thanked in the back of the book. Any print books are signed with a personal thank-you note.

Kickstarter is basically pre-orders. Backers get a chance to purchase any limited editions I create. Their name doesn’t go in the books. I sign print books but don’t personalize.

Practically, how does this work? Now that everyone’s had a chance to get their gifts, here’s what I did for Run Your Own Mail Server.

Print sponsors received a special edition of the book, (Ruin Your Mail By Running It Yourself). It will never be in stores, although I have a few extras that will wind up in charity auctions.

They also got a metal challenge coin. I’m quite pleased with how these came out. This coin will never be re-issued. I have a few extras that will, again, go to charity.

Why these? Because they amused me. Seriously. That’s it.

Print-level Patronizers got both. They also didn’t know what was coming.

Kickstarter backers could get the RYOMS Special Edition. They didn’t know what it was either. They did not get the challenge coin, however.

Why do it this way? My second business goal is to lure people into buying direct from me, eliminating middlemen like Amazon. (My first business goal is to pay the mortgage.) The more direct our relationship, the more crap I give you. Or, if you prefer: the further you descend down the Reader Acquisition Funnel, the more I try to weigh you down so that you can never climb out.

Or:

If you buy my books, I appreciate you.

If you preorder my books at release time, I appreciate you more.

If you back a book before I’ve finished writing the silly thing, I gotta make it worth your while.

If you send me money every month, I must show my sincere gratitude.

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Building Mastodon Bots is Stupid Easy

I just updated the footnote fortune file for Patronizers. Yes, my Patronizers get a Unix fortune file containing all the footnotes from my nonfiction books. I thought it was daft, but apparently a few readers actually use the dang thing. My exhausted brain wondered, “How hard would it be to build a Mastodon bot that posted one of these every few hours?” Turns out: not hard at all.

First, install toot (https://toot.bezdomni.net/). FreeBSD packages it as py311-toot.

Then register an account for your bot, using the regular Mastodon web interface. I registered @quotebot@io.mwl.io. (Yes, I have my own fedi instance. My main account is @mwl@io.mwl.io. No, you can’t have an account on it.)

$ toot login
Enter instance URL [https://mastodon.social]: https://io.mwl.io
This authentication method requires you to log into your Mastodon instance in
your browser, where you will be asked to authorize toot to access your
account. When you do, you will be given an authorization code which you need
to paste here.

Login URL:
https://io.mwl.io/oauth/authorize/?response_type=code&redirect_uri=urn%3Aietf%3Awg%3Aoauth%3A2.0%3Aoob&scope=read+write+follow&client_id=FPzkCcqnGBLNO5Vo4V95CvfilcyRlMIrOSN1ncgxZmI
Open link in default browser? [Y/n]: n

This server’s default browser is Lynx. For whatever reason it can’t display the entire authorization code. Lynx is used for low-vision accessibility testing, so I suspect that the masto interface has an accessibility problem. I copied the link, opened it in my desktop’s Firefox, and copied the authorization code.


Authorization code: i6OsrQq77knbO4Gq.....

✓ Successfully logged in.

I can now toot from the command line.

$ toot post "test from toot cli"
Toot posted: https://io.mwl.io/@quotebot/113249574738108310

Go look in the web interface, and you’ll see the post. Easy enough.

Posting from a program is easy enough.

$ quote-source | toot post

Now I need a quote source. I could use something database-driven but I happen to have the mwlfortune file handy, so I’ll stick it in a mwlquotes directory. I’d like more than the footnotes so here’s a sample of another quotes file. Each quote is plain text, separated by a percent sign. I won’t be methodically adding to this, but if I’m digging through something old and see a suitable line I’ll add it.


Someone had brought cake. Someone was a bastard.
%
The only universal configuration language is despair.

Now build the fortune data files.

$ strfile -c '%' mwlfortune
"mwlfortune.dat" created
There were 582 strings
Longest string: 421 bytes
Shortest string: 6 bytes
$ strfile -c '%' bodyquotes
"bodyquotes.dat" created
There were 2 strings
Longest string: 54 bytes
Shortest string: 49 bytes

If you give the directory as an argument to fortune(1), it will pick a fortune at random from the combined files.

$ fortune /home/mwl/mwlquotes
Yes, that's megabytes--you know, the unit below gigabytes. Yes,
megabytes can apply to disks.

Try it a couple more times and you’ll see we get random quotes.

Dumping this into our bot is pretty simple.

$ fortune mwlquotes/ | toot post

Initial tests show a problem, though. Fortunes respect terminal standards, and include mid-sentence newlines. Fediverse posts do not. We need to get rid of the newlines. I wound up with this bot script.

#!/bin/sh

fortune /usr/local/share/mwlquotes/ | tr '\n' ' ' | toot post

Why put this in a script? So I can edit it easily later.

Now put this in my personal cron. Most folks said posting every six hours would be reasonable, so that’s where I’m starting.

13 */6 * * * /usr/local/scripts/quotebot.sh

That’s it. Every six hours, at thirteen minutes past the hour, the bot followers get a random quote from one of my books. Took about two hours to fully implement, including writing this post.

62: Isolated But Not Alone

Got some words on #projectIDGAF this week, hurrah!

Music might have saved Will, but the valley’s only radio station spent ten minutes out of each hour praising Jesus, ten minutes advertising albums of popular music rewritten to praise Jesus, and forty minutes begging for donations to help spread the Word. The county health department knows that the station mostly spreads clamydia, but it also spreads bribes so everything works out. There wasn’t any chance that he’d encounter any of the music that would have helped. The Cure would have taught him he might be horribly isolated, but he wasn’t alone. A hit of Ministry or Front Line Assembly would have given a voice to his malformed masculinity, while Depeche Mode would have shown him that men are allowed to have the Forbidden Feelings. A hit of Prince would have taught him to move his feet. That alone might have saved him. Staying up late one night last summer he’d caught skip from an alternative station way out in Los Angeles and captured eighty-two seconds of enlightenment, but he had no idea the song was called “Assimilate,” or the band Skinny Puppy, so it didn’t help.

Today I’m listening to Bill Leeb’s lush solo album Model Kollapse and Allie Goerz’s delightful album of acoustic Nine Inch Nails covers. If you’re catching this episode on release day, October 4 is Bandcamp Friday. Buy music and the band gets all the money.

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Mail Talk 8 October 2024, with bonus Craig Maloney Memorial Charity Auction starting–NOW

Next Tuesday, 8 October 2024, I’ll be talking about Running Your Own Mail Server at mug.org, 6:30PM EDT. MUG is my local “hard-core Unixy People” group. Giving a talk during a book release is bad planning, but I am crap at scheduling.

One of its members was Craig Maloney. Many years ago Craig asked me if I was the same Michael Lucas who had written a couple RPG books in the 1990s. I admitted my guilt. He pulled an obviously-read plastic-bagged copy of Gatecrasher out of his backpack and asked me to sign it. The dude had friends across the world and did his best to boost us all. An all-around great guy, who sadly lost his life to cancer earlier this year.

Craig had sponsored Run Your Own Mail Server. I am now left with his sponsor gifts. I’ve checked with Craig’s family, and they’re okay with me auctioning them off for charity. The Craig Maloney Memorial Auction runs on this page from now until my MUG talk ends1.

The sponsor gifts will never be available in bookstores, at least not new. (I do have a few extras that I will auction off for charity over the rest of my life, but I’ll stretch those out.) I don’t want to describe them here because not all the sponsors have their gifts yet and I’d rather not spoil the surprise, but you can see photos at link 1 and link 2.

I’m going to end this auction a little differently, though. The auction will close at the end of Tuesday’s mug.org talk. I’ll ask live, online for any last bids. You can bid by posting on the page or in the video session. The auction will close when bidding stops. Comment on this post to bid. Once the auction ends, I’ll notify the winner. The winner sends me the donation receipt and I ship the gifts. I pay for shipping.

The beneficiary is Mutual Aid Disaster Relief. They’re as close to the ground as you can get these days, and donations are tax-deductible in the US. You can choose from several donation targets. I don’t care if you donate cash, fill an Amazon shipment with the North Carolina wishlist, target Puerto Rico, or whatever. Just get them the money and get a receipt.

Anyway, leave a comment to bid. Good cause. Ridiculous prize.

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September’s Sibilant Sausage

[this post went to Patronizers at the beginning of September, and to the public at the beginning of October.]

Pretty sure August was eating locoweed.

The “Run Your Own Mail Server” Kickstarter owned most of my hide this last month. Not all of it. A patch on the back of my neck remains freehold. I managed to make a few words on what I’m calling #projectIDGAF, but mostly it’s been investing in production stuff. Which means spreadsheets.

My main printer, IngramSpark has facilities in the US, UK, Australia, and Italy. When I launched the RYOMS Kickstarter, I intended to dropship copies through them. Turns out, it’s not quite that easy. Part of the problem was scale. Based on previous Kickstarters, I thought I might need to dropship to thirty, perhaps fifty people. I got over seven hundred. The IngramSpark ordering interface is tortuous. I am not capable of correctly entering seven hundred orders in that interface. I began looking for a virtual assistant. Found one.

Then I discovered a way out.

Turns out that IngramSpark has a secret industrial-scale ordering system that accepts orders via spreadsheet. Gaining access to it requires you have a friend who already has access, who is willing to vouch for you. Fortunately, I have such a friend. You also need to be submitting several hundred orders. I barely qualified. (Random people on the Internet, please don’t contact me asking me to vouch for you. I don’t endorse random Internet people.) It’s an Excel spreadsheet, complete with macros, that must be filled out in a very specific manner. You know, like every application written in-house by non-programmers. Once you grow accustomed to its quirks, though, it’s infinitely better than entering orders by hand.

I’m keeping the virtual assistant info, though. With luck, I’ll need them later.

When it came to ordering books for backers in the EU, the plan fell apart. The EU has VAT. I have never worried about VAT. I don’t have to worry about VAT until I hit ten thousand euros of EU business per year. Even with RYOMS, I didn’t hit that. When I ship from the US, recipients pay VAT as part of the delivery. It varies by country, but the general pattern seems to be “recipient is contacted, recipient goes to a web site to pay, carrier delivers package.” My sponsors and Patronizers are pretty familiar with how that works.

When I cross ten thousand euros a year, I have to register for the Internet One Stop Shop VAT. This is expensive, but if I’m doing over ten thousand euros a year it would start to be worth it. That’s very much a First World Author problem, though.

If I print books inside the EU, the books would be mailed to recipients without those fees. The problem is getting people to print books in the EU. IngramSpark’s interface to their Italian plant is in the UK, and is legally treated as a UK entity. (I don’t pretend to understand the details, but presumably they have the contracts and lawyers to make it legit.) Brexit fubar’d everything for me there. There are other printers in the EU, however. Some of them would print a few hundred books for me! Except every one of them wants my IOSS paperwork beforehand. It doesn’t matter that I don’t need IOSS. Printers run quite conservative businesses, and take zero risks. It doesn’t matter that even with the lightning strike of RYOMS I don’t meet IOSS limits.

So I’m shipping most backers globally from IngramSpark. Based on the advice of assorted experienced folks, I’m using BookVault to fulfill EU orders. The books will be shipped from the UK, which is greener than shipping from the US.

I started fulfilling dropship orders in Australia, mostly because I needed a smaller group to test Ingram’s spreadsheet ordering but also because Australia is traditionally last in everything. The Australian copies have started to arrive. The rest of the world should follow shortly.

Then there’s books for me to sign. I have four crates of paperbacks in my living room to sign, pack, and ship. Hoping the hardcovers arrive soon, as well as the backer-exclusive special editions. I have something special for print level sponsors and Patronizers this time. Silly, but special. I’m hoping I can tell you about that next month, but the recipients need to receive them first.

Once those go out, I can launch the Dear Abyss Kickstarter. Quite a few people are telling me that the RYOMS Kickstarter is my new normal. As much as I’d love to trade up to that problem, I have no reason to believe that’s so. And seriously, Dear Abyss is not going to push me over the IOSS limit. If the new edition of Networking for Systems Administrators was to also experience explosive crowdfunding I’d look more seriously at IOSS, but not before. I don’t act based on lightning strikes until I start consistently attracting lightning.

Am I ignoring the success of RYOMS in my planning? Nope. There’s clearly a market for crowdfunding tech books. I’m hoping it will raise $20k, but will leave headroom for more. Hope for the best and plan for WTF, that’s the business.

After all these big projects, I need to write a palate cleanser. Something daft, and quick, and fun. I’m starting something I won’t talk about in public, yet, but if you’re curious you could follow #projectIDGAF on the fediverse. Why that hashtag? I have no idea if this thing will work, or even if it can work, but I’m going to have fun with it and that’s all that matters. I’d like to knock a full draft off by the end of September, but we all know that’s not going to happen. After a few years of these heavy projects like RYOMS, SNMP, TLS, and so on, my spirit needs a quick hit of weirdness.

In unrelated news, I sold five short stories to various anthologies at the beginning of the month. They include a new Aidan Redding tale, a Rats’ Man’s Lackey tale, and some one-offs. Look for those to escape in 2025. I’ll also have a new Rats’ Man’s Lackey tale in the next issue of Pulphouse.

Anyway. Off to sign a bunch of paperbacks, and maybe even get them mailed!

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“Run Your Own Mail Server” is leaking out

My latest tech book, Run Your Own Mail Server, is starting to creep into bookstores. The book entry on my web site links to various stores that carry it, and will be updated as more stores appear.

Paperbacks are available on Amazon and will reach other stores shortly. They’ll be in the Ingram catalog, so you can have your local bookstore order them via ISBN 9781642350784.

Hardcovers are pending. Once the Ingram databases finish churning, they’ll also be available everywhere. Ask your bookstore to order ISBN 9781642350791.

I’m working with BookVault to manage direct print sales from my web site, but their Woocommerce plugin hit my store and promptly soiled itself. In their defense very few authors have been running direct sales for over ten years, and most of those don’t have as many features as tiltedwindmillpress.com.

Speaking of my bookstore, you can get the ebook there.